~ On Monday night I suddenly woke up with a fever. I took care of myself exceptionally well this winter, I didn't even catch flu but I guess that was the end of it. I'm thinking that I caught something rather than catching cold, because my fever broke down rather easily. I'm more of a "spend one night in agony with 40C fever and get up the next day" kind of a person, so not reaching 40C is easy on my book. I didn't suffer from that angle, thankfully. ( I hate having fever though.  ) Today I'm back at work and everything feels distant but at least I'm able to force down the headache that comes with it. Enough for me.

~ We have a case here versus the first office i've worked for, coincidentally. Since they know my name and everything, they chose me to connect with about this case and at one point my old boss ordered me around to do his things like I was still working for him. Not done, he also ordered me to send my papers and stuff to him in case I was making a mistake and he'd fix it for me. ( I realized that he was actually acting like an asshole, yet I didn't say anything.  ) Once someone is lost to me, all is lost forever, i guess.

~ We're looking for new interns and I see each and every one of the candidates while they wait in the lounge. Last week we had an asshole over. At first interview he was all nice and charm. Bosses didn't like him though (so did I) and when he got called for his let-down, he thought this was the the good second intervivew. Secretary told him to wait in the lounge, I heard her. After a while though she rushed into my office and said that the guy has let himself into kitchen and was making himself a cup of tea. Weirded out, I told her to go to her desk and told her that I'd handle it.

I didn't have to get up though, cause a second later that dude swayed into my office with a ~swag and asked me "how you doin, miss lawyer" with THAT tone. I couldn't say a thing because there was a chance that he could be accepted without my knowledge and I'd rip the wrong guy apart. So I waited and said nothing when he even hit on me unashamedly. When bosses were free I dove into their office and asked what the hell was that. I told him what the guy did and killed his chance, lol. He deserved it, though.

I don't know if I ever talked about it in here but I was planning to go to JIBCon since last year. It was a slow build up but it's very near now: it's at April 28-29th.

I've been paying for everything and planning everything since last year: this is my first out of the country experience on my own (i've been out before) and this is absolutely the first vacation i'm planning while having a job. So it was scary for me, having to pay for everything and not get into some kind of debt, because it would be a close call every month. Luckily everything went according to plan even though there were some financial problems but having some money aside waiting for those types of emergencies took care of it. (Keeping emergency money is something mom drilled on me since i was 12, i can't not do it. It always pays off, though.)

The only thing that has been left was visa, which is actually the key of everything. If they denied me, all bets would be off. I was actually anxious about it because I know people who got denied for no reason. And I have no such luck about the matters I really really want, it's a universal rule. So I prepared everything they asked of me and more. cancoydu was giving my papers and she told me that the lady at the front desk was not nice about my papers, saying that they were insufficient. Which pushed me into a panic mode, eating me inside.

They promised to give an answer in 6 days (which would end today) but yesterday I got a text saying that my application was done and my passport was on the way already. I had no reason to worry, logically: I'm a lawyer, my job needs me to work in a country where I'm a citizen of, I have solid income, I have money in a bank, I bought everything already and shit, plus I had a visa that has been successfully used for Italy itself in the past already. But tell that to my heart.

I was at the courtroom when my passport was delivered to office, secretary texted me saying that the package has arrived and I told her to rip it apart to check it. Poor girl didn't even know where to look but she found it finally and told me that i have been accepted. :D I asked for 2 weeks and one entrance since I have never gone outside as an adult but they gave me 2 months and multi entrance! \o/

It's not like I'm going to go to Europe every weekend but I'm surely going to think about it. For example Amsterdam is on my wanted-to-go list for forever, I might snatch a weekend, I really want to. Van Gogh Museum and Anne Frank Museum are on my list, I also want to visit the flower bazaar. I also want to travel by myself, 2 days alone in a different city sounds pretty good. (ETA: It's a crazy city though, thelake made me remember so now I don't know. Istanbul is crazy too, i'm now in a dilemma.)

I really like traveling if it's not obvious by now. I fell in love with foreign countries and cultures when I was 5, and it never died. I'm glad that I have parents who support that infatuation to their best abilities. We didn't have that much money and I was young so that would be expensive but now they're cheering me up to see the world as much as I can before someone ties me down to this city forever.

ANYWAY. I was talking about something else!

I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it (because plane tickets are fucking expensive when it's overseas) but I've been planning to go to Argentina, to moodymuse19, we've been talking about it for over a year. At first I was going to go at last April but then I booked tickets for JIBCon and all my money has been vaporized because of it. Then we planned on October, it having a big religional holiday and all. It was set like that, I was ought to buy tickets at May or something.

But today my sister reminded me that we were also set for France if possible (and with thelake, nonetheless!!) and she told me that it would be nice to switch France to October and Argentina to August.

This combo needed for me to take 8 days off, 3 more than my slot (the rest is religional holidays). I went to talk with my boss and he said that they were not giving 5 days off here, they were giving 10. It's actually ought to be 10, but nobody respects that, saying 5 is for a vacation and the other 5 is for emergencies, so I'm used to that. Hearing that my allowed slot is already 10 days was unexpected.

He also was very nice about hearing my plans, accepted everything and promised me to build up a suitable schedule that fits to everyone in the office. (Since they are taking a month off all together in August, they rely on me to keep up with the work.) If he keeps up with his promise, the only thing that left is the money issue. \o/ Argentina doesn't ask for visa for Turkish people so I'm good on that front, it's "buy your ticket and come" policy, France is probably going to give me a visa by then too, my sister is now literally and legally a citizen of France (albeit for a few years) but whatever.

I really hope I can make the most of it. But since it's me, I'm not keeping my hopes up, something (or someone) always comes up when I really want something.

After today's walk under the rain, I really really hope that I don't get sick. For a second all my body felt cold but then I pushed it away. Oh body, you're marvelous.

I'm thriving in Sherlock fics nowadays, there are just SO MANY talented people in this fandom, it's crazy. I'm not only talking about fics, the artists are also breathtaking. Look at her, for example. Such gorgeous talent.

I'm glad that I'm now participating in Sherlock fandom as well as consuming it. I'm happy that my readers accepted my Sherlock writing skills, I don't know what I'd do if I got denied of Sherlock's brain. It sometimes weirds me out that people are still reading me even though I'm writing in Turkish. (I write English only for anon/kink memes and I don't ever de-anon, I like the anonimity. It's not like I'm ashamed of what I wrote or what I write of, I just like to be a nameless person for a while.)

I just saw this site with Sherlock Teas and I was so excited to try out new blends but when it gave me 34$ for shipment, I naturally said "fuck it." I really wanted them though, it's a pity. :(

Last Friday bosses made me translate a legal document and it ate my brain. Seriously, I hated English with all of my being for a night but I think it's because it was 4pm on a FRIDAY. I'm now okay with the language, I still love it. I have a headache today and all the yelling over the phone is getting on my nerves, I'm counting down the clock.

Talking about the office, I built a website for this firm because they asked nicely and didn't want to pay some teenager a huge amount of money for a simple coding. I said okay and I delivered it on Friday. No one said about any money even though in the beginning I said I could do it for x amount of money. Now I'm thinking about if it'd be rude to remind them of this fact on payday. If they don't pay up, of course. Sometimes I lose my point of view about these things: building a simple website is nothing, a coding takes 2 hours at best, so my mind feels embarrassed for asking money for a simple task. It is not simple though: I worked off-hours for this, I coded from scratch and people get paid for this. I don't know.

I have no recollection of the past few weeks, they went by so fast. This year's going so fast already, it's nearly March and I don't know how the hell that happened. I've been working from city to city this month, it's not a schedule that I'm used to. It kind of drained me but I held on, I now think that I have the stamina.

My plan for reading more books this year is going steady, I'm good with it. I finished The Graveyard Book, Before I Go To Sleep and now going through Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I didn't like the first, loved the second, am liking the last one.

I've seen movies too, Third Star changed me in all the ways that a movie can. The rest were just movies. How I love movies that change a part of you. I can talk about Third Star for hours, but I'm holding on. (I also watched Toast and recommend that too, for a lazy Sunday. Such a pretty movie.)

Health-wise, i've been notified that my uterus and ovaries got smaller for no reason and I'm going through a virtual menopause. I'm still having my period, so we don't know what the hell is wrong. My uterus/ovaries seem functional (hence still having periods) but we don't know. They didn't want to take fertility tests as for my ovaries were still working and in a way I didn't want to know either. I'm not in a phase that I want to think about ovaries and possible future children. *knocks on wood, though*

I'm seeing doctors every week and it's hurting my wallet, I'm not happy about it. They're not doing anything. On this state they're just monitoring what I'm eating and making plans about it. Of course it helps for my weight management but I'm shallow. I'm good though, I'm fine.

I'm expecting this week to be lighter at the office, I hope it happens that way. My anxiety about being let go has erased a little, so I'm good. It feels like I'm one of the group now, this month was good on that scale. Lets cross fingers for it to go that way, if not better.

I decided to browse my flist before typing an entry. BRB I'm going to read so many things \o/ I love opening all the tabs, group them by person and then read them like a novel.

ILU GUYS. /emotionalwtf>

Just booked an appointment for a checkup for my hormones and brain. It's been 3 years already, seems so far away. I stopped using my pills a year ago and I feel like my body is reverting to that place. That giving up was needed to understand if my body has built a shield or not. I guess it didn't because I feel that I'm going back to where I was. Ugh.

And I'm kind of scared to start taking pills again without consulting first. These are hormones, they effect my brain and I love my brain. It's not about weight or anything when I'm considered, I don't want anything to happen to my brain. So yes, I'll hand over my precious money, again. Guy's check-up appointment is 250 bucks, I don't even. He's the best in the city, yes, but I mean come on. You'll shake my hand and order me to take all those tests again, it'll take 3 minutes of your time. Verdict appointment? I can pay for it but 250 for a handshake, ugh. I'll do it though.

And probably i'll be in a 2 years plan if I'm reading signs correctly, which'll eat my wallet slowly. Better than neglecting it and having to have brain surgery though.

I also have to book an appointment with my dentist to fill the ~void with a new teeth. It'll be two months come February and it's enough time to wait for filling the empty space. I hate getting my teeth cut for porcelain but I'll have to endure.

On another note about spending money, I'm back on track with buying DVDs and/or books every month. It was a promise I made to myself when I had no money back then: I'd buy something every month. Big or small. It makes me happy to keep that promise.

I bought Complete Sherlock Holmes and it should arrive today, I can't wait to re-read them. Mom gave them away years ago and I didn't buy it again, guess it was waiting for its time. Now I'm going to read them in their English glory, it'll be amazing. (Thank God I prevented Mom giving my Poirot collection away, it would be a bitch to buy all of them again. Sherlock's a small universe compared to Poirot.)

I'm going to be happy if we arrive April safe and sound. These two months are going to be hectic. All my family has their different check-ups, also dad has his second operation. April is going to be silent, I hope. (And I'll be going to Italy! There's only my visa left, I'm waiting for my invitation from Italy to arrive to complete my application forms.)

Sherlock is still breaking my heart. It doesn't help that dad wanted to watch the series too and he wants me by his side for bonding time. I cry inside. And bond with Dad. Talk about family dynamics. :))

SHERLOCK. I didn't cry but I admit I cried later a bit today. I want to growl at Moffat and Gatiss, they're such trolls. And it's fucking amazing that no one slipped once that they got renewed for 2 seasons for 2 years! Everyone was acting like this was the end and I believed it too (even though I thought BBC was a fool to let this go) but it seems they weren't. Good calling, BBC, good calling.

I still can't get over the fact that they kept mum for so long! You can't do that in US, that's why I love these guys so much more: they take the audience on a face value. (I love that Moffat outright says that he writes for smart people, not the general audience who took everything for granted. I love that man.)

( Sherlock 2x03 )

It's obvious why even Peter Jackson was ready to accommodate The Hobbit's schedule. It's obvious why everyone was praising Martin, he was amazing in this episode. Benedict was delivering a masterpiece as usual but his was his usual ante. Martin was hitting to kill and he did it well. It warms my soul that he was ready to turn down The Freaking Hobbit, rather than leaving this. No one would blame him, second series wasn't even written when he was cast. It now shows that Martin was contractually bound since the 3rd series was commissioned at the time but if he wanted out, I'm sure he could get out and yet, he didn't. Everyone's so devoted, it shows. This season was so much better than the first one, and I loved it.

- I had to do a collecting that drained my soul, I swear. I've been to harder collectings with people having no money or whatever but this one ate my brain. I can't even talk about it, it was that ridicilious and tiring. Everyone changed their minds at one point, I was nearly screaming at them to make up their minds! This is why I want to be left alone at collectings with absolute power. If you share the decision making or give it to someone else, it gets messy. They didn't only give the power to someone else (client) they also made them go with me, which was worse. (Of course they have the right to come and call the shots, I'm not against that nor I can prevent it, but it's just so tiring. Having to explain your every action and deal with everyone. Brr.

- Sherlock was good but not better, this week, in my opinion. I guess I like Moffat's Sherlock better than Gatiss'. I'm not a fan of 'The Hound of the Baskervilles', either, so yeah. It was still enjoyable though, fun with trying to guess which genres they'd cross into. All in all though, I'm anxiously waiting next weeks story. The Reichenbach Fall should be done very cautiously. And I'm curious as to how they are going to convert it into modern age. This show made me want to read the books again, I'm thinking about it.

- My decision about reading more books is going pretty well. I'm even carrying a book around, which is a thing I completely forgot due my job. I'm not complaining that much.

- TV-wise, Tuesdays are going to be great for me. It's Castle day, also now it hosts 2 Broke Girls too! Seriously, you should all watch 2 Broke Girls, I don't know why but it got me hooked so bad. I rarely, rarely like comedy, but I laugh wholeheartedly at this.

- I'm so tired. I actively gave me 1.5 days to that collecting, it's exhausting. Today I didn't sit on my ass for 6 hours straight and I'm a person who has to sit down, grr. Yes. Give me my Castle/Kate and I'll be happy.